In The Book of Common Prayer under a section dedicated to “Personal Devotion,” is a prayer from the mind, heart and pen of John Wesley (1703-1791). The first time I read it I was stopped cold, realizing how different it is from the spontaneous prayers I utter day by day in what I consider my personal devotion. I also wondered if I had the courage to pray it. I mean to sincerely pray it. From my heart and the depth of my soul. And to actually want God to grant my request.
A COVENANT PRAYER
I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee, exalted for thee or brought low for thee. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
That sort of religious devotion might seem quaint today. Old-fashioned. Pre-modern. Pre- the Church losing its way. On the other hand, if it was devotion to a political ideology—that would probably make sense. It is political devotion that our era promises will change the world. Religious devotion promised that but failed. Political devotion can be watched working its way out in the news headlines every day. Almost always tragically. But it still promises to be the only hope for the future.
But radical religious devotion? Get practical. How could one flourish practically in the 21st century world if they were as devoted to the divine as Wesley urges?
Besides, I thought the best witness was to show the world that the people of God flourish following Jesus. How does that relate to being “brought low for thee,” or “let me be empty,” or “let me have nothing?” Even my fellow Christians would think I was not flourishing. Flailing, maybe. Or floundering. Perhaps even failing.
And truth be told, this is not the picture of Christian faith most of us heard at the beginning. Then it was: you are guilty, Jesus died for your sin, ask forgiveness and let him be your Savior, and all with be well. You don’t have to do anything. Just pray this prayer.
But Christ is not just Savior but Lord, and Lord of all. And that means Rev. Wesley’s prayer is exactly correct. To the extent I do not believe it is the extent to which I do not believe the gospel of Christ.
Working through this prayer phrase by phrase is a good spiritual discipline. It reminds us of who we are, and who Christ is. It reminds me that I am not the center of the universe, and that God is doing things I cannot see and know now but that when I do someday, I will be glad and full of joy. It reminds me that in this broken and sad world even the broken and sad things can resound to God’s glory by his grace.
Still, I admit that I hope God will let “me be full, and you be empty;” and that he will “put me to doing, and you to suffering.”
Please don’t try to tell me I’m the only one who sins this way.
Photo credit: Photo by Johannes Plenio (https://www.pexels.com/photo/silhouette-photography-of-boat-on-water-during-sunset-1118874/)
